This Thanksgiving is going to suck.

As of this writing, 53,131 people have taken their time to sign a petition of utmost importance. One that proposes to deny an evil so great that it sours the sanctity of Thanksgiving, not to mention American values. This evil hails from Hanna, Alberta, Canada, and has surely has ties to the devil, evidenced by the fact that this foul beast of an entity has sold 50 million motherfucking albums. HOW? HOW CAN WE LET THIS HAPPEN?

To no surprise, this disgusting calamity I speak of is the fact that [amazon_link id=”B000BH8BL2″ target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]Nickelback[/amazon_link], despite the cries of the 50,000 who signed said petition, will still be performing at halftime of “The Thanksgiving Game” between the Detroit Lions and the Green Bay Packers, thus completely ruining what should be an exciting game. Which sucks.

Fuck these guys

Really, how did the organizers of this event fuck this up so bad? Did they figure nobody would be watching, and maybe bringing such a douchey band on wouldn’t matter? Well, it does. There no telling how many people would have protested had other, equally as important matters such as Occupy Wherever weren’t such a distraction, but once again that’s the devil at work, all knowing of when to take advantage of us.

Why didn’t they just get somebody affiliated with Detroit to play? They have plenty of famous acts from Motown Records and beyond:

[amazon_link id=”B000V63BN6″ target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]Stevie Wonder[/amazon_link]Even he can see that these guys look like assholes.

[amazon_link id=”B000929AVE” target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]Smokey Robinson[/amazon_link]

By all accounts still an excellent performer

[amazon_link id=”B0009SOFGI” target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]Iggy and The Stooges[/amazon_link]

How rad would that be?

[amazon_link id=”B0043URV5U” target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]Bob Seger[/amazon_link]


[amazon_link id=”B0000025C3″ target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]Ted Nugent[/amazon_link]
Only if he reenacts this cover

[amazon_link id=”B001AP11LQ” target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]The White Stripes[/amazon_link]

Fact: Jack White’s parents worked for the Archdiocese of Detroit. He was also the youngest of ten children.

But they probably should have just  nutted up the cash and paid this guy to do it:

Willem Dafoe…..just kidding. Fucking [amazon_link id=”B003RNXIBK” target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]Eminem[/amazon_link].

This is actually the first time I’ve seen this video, it’s from the 45th Grammy Awards, and I thought it was impressive, plus it was cool to see Proof performing with him.
You know he would own it too. I’ve got to see him live twice and he’s no joke, even if he’s on tv and can’t cuss, which fucking sucks if you think about it. They cut people apart on [amazon_link id=”B00247W4P6″ target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]CSI[/amazon_link], it’s like watching a horror movie, and you can’t SAY”fuck”?

If you have any other favorite Detroit area musicians, leave them in the comments section instead of just visiting. There is a million more from there but I wanna get this article done with cause I need to get back to [amazon_link id=”B004HYK956″ target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]Skyrim[/amazon_link] (aka greatest RPG ever). I love answering comments, when it calls for it. You don’t even have to like this shit, I will still answer.