Rika and I went to see Ted yesterday. If you haven't heard, it's the feature film directing debut of Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane, check out the trailer, then keep on reading to see my full review.
Let's start off with a dedication.
TO THAT BITCH WHO WAS SITTING THREE CHAIRS DOWN FROM ME WHO WOULDN'T TURN OFF HER FUCKING CELL PHONE DURING THE FIRST HALF OF THE MOVIE:
Why the fuck do you think it is okay to do that?
Did the Ice Age presentation that clearly states that you are NOT TO TALK OR TEXT during the film completely go over your head?
Are you special?
I even heard her phone ring a few times, although it was pretty quiet. But JTFC why! Her friend kept telling her to turn it off, so I didn't want to interfere (that was my excuse for being a pussy at least), but when she leaned over and it was brightly shining near my face to where Rika finally saw it, that was the end of that. I finally looked over to her and said "that is VERY DISTRACTING". Then she had the nerve to glare at me. What the fuck is your problem? It's not like nobody could see it, we were near the front of the theater, so everybody above could probably get a glimpse of what looked like a tiny, annoyingly bright, distracting star. FUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOU!
Ok.......what was I talking about? Oh yeah, the movie review.
DON'T READ ANY FURTHER IF YOU DON'T WANT THE MOVIE TED TO BE SPOILED FOR YOU!
Ted is a big winner, and I found it suitable for a broader audience than I expected. It's crude humor is hardly extreme to where you feel uncomfortable, save for a few moments, and is only slightly above what you might see on an average Family Guy episode. Because of it's originality, I bet it has a great box office run.
The first half of the movie is damn near perfect comedy. One particular moment I loved was the montage that showed what other kids John Bennett's age were getting for Christmas in 1985, including a Nintendo Entertainment System, a Darth Vader style Star Wars action figure carrying case (I had the C3P0 version back in the day). But then John gets a bigass teddy bear, for who he wishes will come to life and be his bff. Well, his wish came true.
The computer animation for Ted's character was fantastic and highly believable, which was nice because bad cg can be distracting. The way he would walk, and as the movie went on, the way his "fur" degraded was a nice touch.
Well, I'm feelin' this review is already long enough, so I'm gonna throw a few more things at ya and be done with it.
Another enjoyable element was the fact that John (Mark Wahlberg) and Ted (voiced by Seth MacFarlane himself) have a favorite movie, and it's.....
The Flash Gordon love. I was a big fan of this cheese-fest growing up and still regularly listen to the theme song. Sam Jones, Flash Gordon himself, even had a sizeable cameo.
Ted's job interviews = pure gold.
Joel McHale = plays douchey rich guy / Mila Kunis' boss, admirably.
As great as the first half was, the second was far from perfect and fell into a bunch of what seemed like intentional cliche's. It did have it's moments too, like Mark Wahlberg knocking the shit out of this psychotic kid.
Oh yeah, Mila Kunis. She held her own, but this movie was about a 37 year old man and his teddy bear, so as important as her character was, she kinda seemed like filler at times.
Overall, I give it a very solid B+. Despite it's second half being a little drawn out, this is a highly original movie and well worth the price of admission. Or as Rika says "it's slapstick done right!"
Bonus video: The Thunder Buddies Song remix