Life’s been good to him so far…….

Could Duke Nukem Foreverreally be released on the planned June 14th release date? It was just announced that the demo will become available June 3rd, a sign that this is really happening.

I compare this game to the band The Eagles. After an insane (meaning “insane”, not “awesome”) performance in Long Beach, California (nicknamed “Long Night at Wrong Beach”) in which Glenn Frey and Don Felder were threatening to beat the shit out of each other for the whole show, The Eagles broke up. Well, I don’t care that Frey said “we never broke up, we just took a 14-year vacation”, THEY FUCKING BROKE UP. This occurred on July 31st, 1980, also known as 20 Days BB (before Brett).

You may have heard the Don Henley saying that the group would get back together “when hell freezes over” followed by the eventual reunion tour and album, which of course had to be called “Hell Freezes Over”. They performed for the first time together since the break up in April 1994, roughly fourteen years (basically July 1980 to basically April 1994).

Duke Nukem Forever was first announced in April 1997. Since then it has become synonymous with the term “Vaporware” which I had never heard of until I started writing this but is pretty awesome.

Anyways the game had promotional material released in one form or another from 1997 all the way until 2008, including in 2001 when 3D Realms, the games developer said it will be released “when its done”, which I think is also awesome. Now it appears we have an actual game coming on June 14th, ROUGHLY FOURTEEN YEARS (basically April 1997 to June 2011).

So we have the Eagles, who broke up for about thirteen years, ten months, and Duke Nukem, who broke wind for about fourteen years, two months. The average of the two delays: 14 years.

Will the return of Duke be bigger than that of the Eagles? Fuck no. Only in a perfect world. I’m not the biggest fan of the Eagles, But Seriously Folks, Joe Walsh does kick ass, and The James Gang, a far superior band, rules.

It’s hard to leave when you can’t find the door.